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Moving!

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Hey wonderful blog followers! I know I've been away a good little while, but I've started back up in a new space, and I'd love for you to check it out and follow me there!

http://www.jordanjacksongross.blogspot.com/

Come see how my garden grows!

Happy Wednesday!

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Hello Friends...

Lots has been happening around here these days, and I haven't had time to post anything in a while, but we're having a lazy day in the Gross house today, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share what's been going on.

There are lots of new changes in the works for my blog. My wonderfully talented friend Jessi is helping her much less techno-savy friend built a better and much more visually appealing site. We've been collaborating long distance for a bit now, and I can't wait until we get everything ready. My hopes are that once we get the new page set up I can set up a much more frequent posting schedule with more focused topics that interrelate between the many things going on in my life these days. I'm really excited about it.

I'm taking three classes this semester and...NOT WORKING AT ALL!! It is absolutely wonderful to have the time and energy to devote the best of myself to my schoolwork all the time. Plus, my schedule is wonderful in that I get to spend three whole days a week at home with my little one, and Michael is now off on Wednesdays, so we get a midweek day to ourselves once a week. It is so nice to have a little mini-weekend devoted just to the three of us plugged right into the middle of the week. These days our Saturdays and Sundays have become so full and busy that we hardly ever have the time to just relax and enjoy one another. I hope this type of thing is something we can continue to have in life.

I may have already mentioned this, but my new years resolution for this year was to read 60 books. That may sound like a lofty goal to some, but with my reading lists for most of my grad classes, I hardly even have to add that many this semester to keep up with my minimum quota of five per month.

This one's a biggie for me. It's already almost midterm, and I've only made one full blown to do list all semester. I've made a couple of little lists (what to do to get ready for a trip, what homework needs done by when, etc), but only one real one, and I ended up throwing it away before I got around to marking things off of it. My name is Jordan, and I'm a micromanager..but slowly and surely, I am weeding this addiction out of my life.

It's almost garden time. We've been spending lots of time out in the garden getting ready for the season to come. We're going bigger this year. Way bigger...I can't wait!

That's not all that's going on around here lately, but the rest will come in another post soon. Happy Wednesday, y'all. Hope it's as relaxing as mine has been so far!

About Me

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So...this semester I'm taking two graduate level creative writing classes. This is something that is equally exciting and terrifying to me. The first assignment for each class was to post (on our online class forums) a short "about me."
I wrote a different one for each class, because it kind of felt like cheating to use the same one twice, and because I already felt limited by writing these about me's to start with...there is something strange and unnatural about trying to peg yourself down, I think. Anyhoo...a few people requested that I post them on my blog. So, here you go.


A Cross Section

I always find these things a little difficult. First, because finding a way to straddle the line between boring and pompous is always difficult when you’re talking about yourself. Second, because I never know where to start…
So, for simplicity’s sake, let’s start in the middle and work our way out. At my core is a strange and indivisible concoction of fire, sunshine, wine, un-checked-off to-do lists, unbridled anxiety, and disconnected dreams. Outside of that are just your average skin and bones, clothes that I’m never sure are quite fashionable, and a usually unkempt head of hair.
Outside of me proper are the little bits of myself that float around in other people. I generally like to keep them close to me so as to feel as ultimately whole as possible (if such a thing is, in fact, possible). These people include my husband, my almost one-year old son, my parents, my sister, my grandparents, a handful of friends, and sometimes even random acquaintances.
I’m a lifetime Arkansan – a graduate of Cabot High School, the University of Central Arkansas (with a major in English and a minor in Cultural Anthropology), and, hopefully soon, Henderson’s MLA program. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do after that. I used to want to be a teacher, but after teaching two sections of Basic English last semester, I not only lost that desire but also my faith in humanity (or at least the direction in which humanity is undeniably heading). I probably shouldn’t say things like that. I probably also shouldn’t change my mind on a lifelong dream after only having such a small (and crappy) taste of it. But if I learned anything last semester, it was that you can’t make people want to learn. You can only just hope that, by some miraculous accident, they do. With that realization, my intellectual idealism withered and died.
On a much lighter and more frivolous note, I like cooking, gardening, sad music, reading blogs, watching football, reading books that are totally beneath the standards of cool English majors (and the worthy books as well), traveling, Indians (of the Native American variety), crappy reality TV, hammocks, and almost any type of food that you can think of. Oh, and words. I am madly in love with words – with their ability to capture reality and unreality alike, with my ability to study them and feel them and string them together in an order that can pull people into my reality and connect me to theirs. I love to write, but I find it to be one of the most terrifying and soul-shaking human experiences. I guess that’s just the kind of package that every truly fulfilling thing is wrapped up in. I dislike insincerity, intolerance, and incoherence.
Overall, my goals are simple: to be content, to spread joy, to learn as much as I possibly can, and to hopefully create something of value.



And...number two:

About Jordan

For some reason, I feel that I should begin this post by saying that I am a girl Jordan, not a boy Jordan. I have made the mistake one too many times of accidentally creating a gender-neutral online persona, and the results are always confusing. I am lots of things: a mama, a student, a chef, a micromanager, a wife, a wanderer, a hypochondriac, a bibliophile... I am a lifetime writer of creative nonfiction. I write to experience life...I write in journals, send letters, draft personal essays, and capture words for my feelings on post-it notes (and sometimes on the backs of receipts or dirty napkins if I'm particularly desperate and left to the contents of my purse). I haven't had lots of experience in a creative writing classroom, so I'm particularly excited to work on my writing under the helpful eyes of some fellow writers!

I used to be the kind of person that would dance around the negative aspects of other people's writing in workshop scenarios, prefering to be constructive and polite, but after spending a few semesters working as a tutor in the Writing Center, I've seen first-hand how truly honest criticism can transform a paper (academic, creative, or otherwise) and help writers push their work to much higher levels. Although I am nervous, I am also hopeful that this class will offer stringent and honest criticism of my work. I want to do something real with my writing, and I'm excited to work on it with all of you and hopefully come out of this semester as a better writer.

I feel as passionately about reading as I do about writing. Books have always been a huge part of my life. They've been my friends, my tickets to other times and places, my teachers, and my constant companions. Somehow I'll make a career out of books, whether through writing them, teaching them, or editing them. My goal this year is to read sixty books. Right now I'm sitting at four, but I'm at least halfway through three others, so I'm about on schedule. Although I love most all genres, I think I'm most partial to young adult and children's literature. After all, that stuff is what got me hooked in the first place. As a student, my interests are primarily American Literature, especially African American and Native American Lit.


So...that's how I box myself up.

Happy Birthday, Chase Gross!

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One year ago tonight, my mind whirled as a lay on a cold hospital bed waiting for a new life to greet me in the morning. My induction would begin at 5:00am the next day. The next day I would be a mama. And I would have a new person. A totally brand new person who would be a part of my world forever. I wondered how my world would change and who my son would be. I wondered who I would become in my new world. I wondered and I waited and I tried to sleep. I tried to remember all that my life had been up until that day because I knew even the most solid and immovable things would be shifted in the twenty-four hours that would follow. I wondered where my head would be tonight, one year later.

At 6:34 tomorrow night, my baby boy will be a year old. A big, grand, magical, spectacular year old. I can't find big enough words to tell my son all that he has done in these short twelve months...how much magic he carries around, how much joy he has already spread without even trying. He came into a world that needed him so much. I think we even missed him before he was here. I think that there were big empty places in our hearts that hurt for him until he finally made his way into our world. He saved me. He's still saving me.

Before Chase was born, I could only imagine how much I would love him, and of course I didn't imagine big enough. But I imagined in the right way. I knew it would be a powerful and terrifying love, one that would turn everything I knew of this world upside down and rearrange it around him. I knew that I would spend every single one of the rest of the days of my life trying to show him how to survive in this world. How to love himself and trust himself. What I didn't and couldn't have imagined was the way he would love me and the way he would teach me things about survival and how to love myself from the minute he got here. The last three hundred and sixty five days have been, literally, everything - profound joy, unmanageable stress, utter exhaustion, mounting excitement, unstoppable love...a deep and resounding peace beyond anything I ever believed was possible. My world, my love, and my life have grown exponentially.

Chase Gross - Thank you for being born...thank you for being mine. Thank you for showing me that the best way to be your mama is to spend all my days seeking and loving and playing and smiling and chasing down my own self, so that I can show you how to do these things too. Thank you for bringing me such love. And, above all, thank you for being your sweet, precious, funny, curious, unbelievably strong and fast and skilled, brilliant, and beautiful self. You are too much for words. You are so much more than I ever could have imagined one year ago tonight, and I love you an endless amount...
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