Conversation Time With Jordan

When I reminded my sister in law which one of my grandmothers it was who had passed away, she said, "Oh, the tiny one? I remember her...she was fancy." If there is one perfect word to encapsulate my memory of Gran, it is definitely fancy. I only got to know her for what seems like a short twenty three years of her very long life, and now that she is gone, I have become painfully aware of all that I did not know about her life before I was born. For the greater part of my memory, Gran has always been a small and delicate looking woman. Especially in the last few years, after pancreatitis and the loss of her true love, Dudley, took their toll on her body, Gran's fragile body seemed almost breakable at times. It didn't hold her back though. She was always going and doing...and she ALWAYS looked fancy. In just about every memory I have and every photo I've seen, that tiny little body of hers was decorated with the latest vibrant and colorful fashions. She was always decked out in some beautiful, sparkly something...Her outspoken beautiful fragility reminded me of a butterfly.

Sometimes when I'm driving, a butterfly will fly close to my car, and I just know that even if I don't hit it directly, the winds I've stirred up will have pulled that beautiful, fragile body in and smashed it up or thrown it down under my tires. But often I'm surprised to look in my rear view mirror and see, a few yards behind, that the little thing has somehow fought the wind and the monstrous gravity caused by my disturbance, and caught smooth air again. That was my gran...she managed to remain delicate in a world that doesn't take care of delicate things. So many times she was up against something much bigger and stronger than her, and she somehow managed to survive with impossible beauty and grace.

Some butterflies spend their entire active lives flying over three thousand miles to find a warm place for the winter. They fly for months, encounter who knows how many predators, and bring unspeakable joy to those who are blessed to witness some part of their journey. After making the impossible trip, they bask in warm sunlight for the rest of their lives. Gran made it through many impossible things, and she got to that warm place when she found Dudley. I am blessed to have seen her beauty and felt her love for a small part of her long and beautiful journey.